Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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