Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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