it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
