look no pants
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
