I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
