there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
