I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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