you win again, gameday.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
