Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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