But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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