Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
