Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
