READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
