some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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