Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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