Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
