I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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