I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
