Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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