I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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