You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
ttyl tear gas
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
