That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
