he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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