so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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