My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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