The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Randomize
