I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
