with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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