I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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