Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
