you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
