You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
