i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
