You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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