my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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