Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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