I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So vagazzling was a success
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
