I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
