okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
