i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
