Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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