are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
