I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
