okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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