Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
