You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
