everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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