when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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