I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
