that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
