Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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