I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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